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  <a href="/read/blog/5808129/follow-through">YOUR INTENTIONS MEAN NOTHING, FOLLOW THRU IS EVERYTHING</a>&nbsp;
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<p>“Keep both hands on the bat and swing through!”  My sons little league coach preached.  “you’re timing is good, you’re contact is good but you stopped swinging and the ball isn’t going any where.”  While I watched Jay wrestle with all the stimuli, the pitch, the instruction, the fact that I’m watching, a realization struck me right in the chest. </p>
<p>Follow through is really the only thing we are impressed by.  Odds are you’ve had a good idea.  Whether it was a concept for a business, an invention or a good date night, a light bulb has flickered once or twice in your life.  Even greater odds are that you probably didn’t do anything with it… You didn’t follow through.  The vision you had remained theoretical, suspended in space, rather than a reality you can touch and experience.  The lack of follow through is what gives dreamers a bad name.  People can only handle so much disappointment and there is plenty to go around.  Our lack of follow through makes it easy to dismiss much of what we say to each other.  “Let’s get together,” is more of a kind gesture then an invitation to actually spend time with each other. </p>
<p>The rare occasion when someone does what they say they is almost unnerving.  It sticks in our memory. They become almost a hero to us. Self doubt turns into manifested destiny when we fail to follow through.  Failure to follow through affirms our suspicions that we “just aren’t good at talking to people.”  Or “I suck at measurements,” when we try to build something ourselves.  This entitled way of thinking is the easy way out.  We love to attribute impressive performance with an anointment of “talent.”  “That’s just God given speed,” or “he’s a natural,” are statements aimed at giving ourselves a free pass. I believe we are bent in certain directions that make our skill development faster in some areas than others.  But I refuse to believe God sprinkles good hitter dust on someone and not the other, given they both possess the same hand eye coordination and raw physical ability.  When we chalk a great performance up to someone’s mystical talent, we rob them of their due credit.  We choose to ignore excruciating practice in empty arenas to acquire this “talent.”  It’s more pleasant to believe someone is better than me at something because God wants them to be and not because they worked harder than me.  Not because they struggled more than me. </p>
<p>We all fall into Follow Through Canyon.   We get an idea, we get really jacked up and can see the shiny finished product glowing in our head.  Then there’s the space between concept and process.  The land of struggle.  The space where excitement and energy slam into  confusion and lack of result.  Follow through is the only thing keeping us from panhandling on the boulevard of broken dreams. </p>
<p>Edison remains right, “vision without execution is hallucination.”  Execution despite how weird it gets is follow through.  Follow through is interesting.  Follow through sells out stadiums.  So how do we do it?  Just like growing a tree, prune your intentions. . Meaning well means nothing to doing things well.  Most of us aren’t maniacal when we let people down. We promise too much, and consider struggle too little.  Follow through is directly linked to a concentrated effort.  Narrow your focus on one thing and the process that make the completion of that one thing possible.  If you want to do it, you have to want to do it more than any other thing at that point in your life. </p>
<p>Have one simple filter you put decisions through.  Will the finish be worth the race?  I will remember whatever I have the strongest emotional reaction to.  Will the endorphin rush of blessing someone, over ride the suckiness of having less money?  If this balance doesn’t weigh out in the outcome’s favor, then the venture loses its value.  The filter is essential. Other wise you stand no chance against struggle without it. Choose worthy of  your effort.  When value is clear, you strike a deal with struggle.  You become aware of all the emotions on the table.  There will be excitement. There will be dread.  There will be joy at the finish line or regret at the midpoint.  The emotions that mean the most will determine your idea’s fate. Choose wisely.  Our character connected to our follow through.  Children dream, and we should never stop dreaming,  Men finish what they started.  We need both sides of ourselves to create and finish.  We have to be a Manchild.</p></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2019-06-28T22:41:48-04:00" title="June 28, 2019 22:41">06/28/2019</span></p>

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  <a href="/read/blog/5808128/killer-comfort">Killer Comfort</a>&nbsp;
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<p>Let’s face it, convenience is our most prized possession.  It consumes our every thought, decision, and path we take.   Living things share the survival mechanism of saving energy to conserve calories so life can sustain.  Obviously a vital skill when we were killing everything we ate, building our shelter and shepherding the beasts that feed and clothe us.  We’ve done things that way longer than we haven’t.  We’ve only recently needed memberships to planet fitness so we don’t eat our heart into failure.  We’ve made things so easy on ourselves it’s killing us.  We’ve made things so convenient we don’t struggle enough to sustain life in our natural state. </p>
<p>We need artificial forms of resistance, in climate controlled venues, with noise canceling listening devices so we can continue to drive thru and consume meat and bread at lightning speeds so we can get to our exhibitions of comparing our offspring faster. </p>
<p>In Sam Quinones Dream Land, The Tale of America’s Opiate Epidemic he reports it’s no coincidence the rise of the heroin crisis coincided with America’s obsession with excess.  “The morphine molecule exerts an analogous brainwashing on humans, pushing them to act contrary to their self interests in pursuit of the molecule.  Addicts betray loved ones, steal, live under freeways in harsh weather and run similarly horrific risks to use the molecule.” (The Molecule, Dream Land).  This haunting insight makes way too much sense.  Quinones goes on to say America’s excess of “good stuff” is the very trait that contaminated it. </p>
<p>Our brains demand more of what makes it comfortable.  All good when the majority of stimuli available only offer hardship and strain, ie. The western frontier in the 19th century.  But fast forward to a time where to look someone in the face and say what we mean, or just send a text so we don’t have to deal with social discomfort is a real daily choice.    Where else is there to go from here but the molecule that promises permanent pleasure.   We’ve been told things shouldn’t be hard, and we said Amen.  It’s easy to judge the junky on the street.  But what would we see if we looked in the mirror.  Do we realize the pacifier in our pockets called smart phones and and our obsession with being entertained is killing us.  Do we realize every time we let that uncomfortable but essential conversation with our spouse give way to silence and scrolling, we slice another relational artery wide open to bleed out.  That moment when our little leaguers check to see if we ‘saw that catch,” and find we were nose deep in a facebook battle, do we realize we have left his crave for affirmation go malnourished.  No bother, he’ll just be looking for it everywhere, with everyone for the rest of his life. </p>
<p>Did people have time to question their worth when they were making, hunting, building everything they have.  I am not the authority in this domain.  Maybe these issues just  went undiagnosed.  Maybe fear, and anxiety have always been there, we just dealt with them differently.  To be scared didn’t mean we shouldn’t, it was just a catalyst that made us more aware and improved our performance. </p>
<p>Our chemical way of processing struggle and effort has not changed.  Our options to endure such struggles have.  It was when the ratio of healthy toil and healthy fear got out of whack, we got fat, sad and bored.  Is there a remedy to any of this or are we all destined for motorized chairs and straws pumping liquid food into our swollen bodies like that scene in WalE.  Deep stuff Disney.  At Manchild we believe the solution starts with struggling on purpose.  Put your self in natural states of strain.  What does that mean?  Physically put yourself in situations that make your brain fire in ancient ways. Pursue physical labor.  Socially, pursue deep relationships.  The kind where it’s safe to say more than surface superficial responses.  The kind of relationships that can weather a tough conversation, a strong disagreement or a differing point of view. Mentally make yourself lock in.  Daniel Kahneman won the Nobel Peace Price for behavioral economics because he discovered, people try to create mental shortcuts to save brain power.  The problem is, much of those short cuts lack perspective, empathy and compassion.  Why?  Because it’s easier.  It takes more energy to realize the plight of someone else and be moved enough to do something about it.  It’s more convenient to distract ourselves.  Like drowning a squeaky car belt out with the radio, we bury our heads in ballgames and chain restaurants to avoid seeing the pain of our neighbor </p>
<p>To create something demanding deep thought and focus are portals to the version of man God created, the one in His own image.  Look at your choices today, and ask yourself why you want it that way.  If the answer is because it’s easier and not because it’s right, you’re killing yourself.</p></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2019-06-28T22:39:37-04:00" title="June 28, 2019 22:39">06/28/2019</span></p>

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<p>Why does Manchild exist?  The last thing any of us need is another reason to stare at screens to distract ourselves from our lives we aren’t happy with.  We started Manchild on a hunch.  Maybe there are a bunch of folk out there feeling the same way we do.   When we were kids we woke up and knew exactly what we wanted to be.   When it was time to play cowboys  and Indians, there was no doubt I was Wyatt Earp. I didn’t need anyone to approve of it, I didn’t need all the information or a great plan, I just grabbed my cap gun, my chaps and hat and it was go time.  At some point I felt the need to be qualified, or approved of  to do the things I daydreamed about when I was a kid.  I loved the idea of being on the open water and chasing down big fish, but somehow those visions of grandeur turned into the internal conversation of “what do you know about boats?, You can’t even tie a palomar knot. “  We make these assessments and slowly agree we are disqualified to do the things we love and too afraid to ask how to move closer to them. </p>
<p>Is there a bigger tragedy in the story of modern man?  We psyche ourselves out from  becoming, doing, experiencing the stuff we knew we were in  the backyard. We convinced ourselves, that’s what being a man is;  to take the deal offering the most security, the most convenience and the highest percentage chance to end up with a home theater system.   By the way, a man cave is just a place to go hide from the things challenging us, but that’s a whole other discussion.   Those little deals we’ve made along the way are killing us from the inside out.   The only things I regret are the things I didn’t try to do.  When those types of regrets  pile up, the sicker we become, ill to the point we no longer have the confidence to express ourselves to our wives, our children, our friends.  We slowly slip into a molten shed of ourselves and the big ideas and dreams we had.  Whether you believe in Jesus or not it’s hard not to admire one of the central themes of his teachings.  He constantly challenged everyone around Him to simultaneously be children, and to man up.  Be humble and run to Him like a child, and face all your fears and excuses like a man.  I heard a quote credited to St. Irenaeus stating “the glory of God is man fully alive.”  What a compelling thought.  The thing God delights in the most, and He has a lot to choose from, is us firing on all cylinders,  Us fearless and creative, bold and interesting, romantic and dangerous.  This is who we were created to be, but we aren’t living it.  Not even close. </p>
<p>We pursue our wives, fiancés and girlfriends like 13 year olds, we gossip like cheerleaders instead of confronting each other, we watch shows of dudes doing things we love instead of doing them.  We are too arrogant to ask the right questions to improve the pursuits we love.  Manly yet infantile in all the wrong ways.  Manchild exists to ask you a question.  What would you do if you weren’t afraid to struggle?  Manchild exists to guide you through the space between big dreams and thick drudgery.  The best stuff comes from the toughest seasons of life.  We call it Struggling Well. Let’s quit pretending and expose the  amateurism in all of us and celebrate it. Let’s struggle on purpose, theirs big living on the other side of it.</p></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2019-06-28T22:33:42-04:00" title="June 28, 2019 22:33">06/28/2019</span></p>

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